Jasmine’s Search

Search goal: Find Jasmine’s brother.

*All names have been changed.

Jasmine’s search was a really interesting one for a few reasons. Jasmine’s son Justin had reached out to me for help assisting with finding his mom’s brother. His mom was adopted, and had recently got her Ancestry results back- and her top match was a full brother!

Jasmine knew that her birth parents had gone on to marry after she was placed for adoption and had at least one more child, which included her brother Wayne. However, they had been unsuccessful in finding Wayne, and messages to him on Ancestry had gone unread and emails had been sent with no reply. A veto had also been placed, meaning the parents did not want any contact from Jasmine. So, she wanted to reach out to her brother, directly because they are both adults, she has every right to do so, and DNA tests do not keep secrets. Justin had even posted on Facebook about their search and the post had been shared hundreds of times, but nobody had come forward with information.

After a quick look at Jasmine’s matches, I was able to confirm the names of her birthparents. Wayne had a great little tree that helped out immensely. Both parents were still living and still together, and I was able to find the town where they lived. I could not find the birthparents or Wayne on any social media. However, I did find Wayne on LinkedIn. I was reasonably sure it was him as the last name was uncommon enough and he was working near where his parents lived. His age also lined up with his Ancestry profile.

Justin had also found Wayne on LinkedIn and had sent him an email to his work address, but had not received a reply, leading him to wonder if Wayne on LinkedIn was the Wayne on Ancestry. We wondered what to do. Additionally, to message Wayne on LinkedIn, he would have to accept my request, which he may not do. (Justin and Jasmine also did not use LinkedIn).

I didn’t have any other ideas, so I requested to connect with Wayne on LinkedIn. To my surprise, he accepted my request the next day. So I suggested to Justin that he and his mom craft a message that I would send to Wayne on LinkedIn.

The next day, Justin sent me the message to send to Wayne. I edited it slightly so it was more of a friendly “Hi there, if you have an Ancestry account, please log in and check your messages, Jasmine is hoping to hear from you” along with some direct contact information. It did not reveal how Jasmine was related to Wayne. I am always very hesitant to send messages on behalf of people and encourage them to message themselves unless they are not comfortable. Sometimes I will message matches on Ancestry asking how they fit into a family if I am really unsure and can’t find any information out, but these matches are usually more distant than a first cousin.

After I sent the message, Wayne became active on LinkedIn immediately, which was surprising. I hoped he read my message, but I couldn’t tell.

Later in the evening, Justin messaged me telling me that Wayne had called him, asking about Ancestry and what was going on. I could see that Wayne’s Ancestry account had been logged into today, and felt relief that it was indeed the right person. He said to Justin that he thought the initial emails had been a scam, but once he saw my message on LinkedIn he knew he had to check it out.

Wayne ended up contacting a sibling, who called their mother, and she confessed. Luckily, things went really well, and Justin and Jasmine are now looking forward to meeting their new relatives sometime in the future!

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